Greetings, fashion bugs! We’re back with another recap of Project Runway: All Stars. If the commercials are any indication, this week we’ll be treated to a great deal of fantastic drama. I can’t wait.
Angela brings a bunch of handbags out, and makes the designers pick one with a luggage tag in each. The tags have a season printed in them, and the designers have to create sportswear for a weekend getaway look. And the designers are going head-to-head. They have $200 and a single day to work. Get to it. Mila’s woman is incredibly specific… right down to her Marfa. Austin’s woman is a Tim Burton concept sketch.
StraightColin says: It’s the Nightmare Before Labor Day.
Austin is already digging at Kara. She gives it right back to him, but she’s being jovial. I think he’s just being a bitch. And then Auntie Mila ruins the fun again, and we’re off to Mood. Jerrel goes for some wools to do a coat. Michael can’t just have one idea – he has to have escape plans out the wazoo. And thus begin the seeds of the drama we’ve previewed in the commericals.
Rami isn’t threatened by Mila, and yes – their aesthetics are not just different, they’re polar opposites. Mondo thinks Kenley is one-note, and honestly this is something that she’s been called out for before. But I’ll save my judgment for the runway. We get a nice series of clips where Michael isn’t happy with his design and seems to be eyeballin’ Jerrel’s. Ohhh lawd. Rami’s top is poppin’; I love the color, and the added suede is downright chic.
Joanna Coles joins us for mentoring. Kara is doing Palm Beach casual/chic, which sounds lovely – I just hope it executes well.. Joanna says if she can make great pants, she’s a step ahead. Austin’s concept woman sounds similar, but they’re in the same season so I suppose that’s to be expected. So that’s fine. Mondo’s got (another) personal story for us, but it’s cute. I think it will work. Kenley’s doing a little short jumper thing, and it’s adorable. Nicely done.
Mila is making Milapants, according to Joanna. And a color-blocked cape. Lawd. Rami’s got some bright, bold colors – one of which Joanna is wearing. So that’s absolutely fashion-forward. And then we get to Michael, who claims to have gotten the idea for his silhouette from a muslin he was playing with. Jerrel, clearly, calls shenanigans. Maybe Michael did have a magic muslin moment – a la a burning bush – from which he epiphanically divined his coat design. But the producers chose not to show it if that was the case, and this looks like he’s pulling some bullstar lie out of his alps simply because Joanna came to him first. And Jerrel looks like he’s on the verge of tears. Now, let’s harken back to the number of times Michael accused others of copying him, or of out right cheating.
StraightColin says: Quickly, Sherman! To the Way-Back Machine. We must prove Michael to be a cad before it’s too late!
Michael swears up and down and from the rooftops that he was in no way influenced by Jerrel’s design.The lady doth protest too much, me thinks. So Joanna – in all her potentially not-instructed-to-do-this brilliance – decides to have a team meeting and ask everyone else’s opinion about the potential pilfering of intellectual property. Kenley says she had Jerrel’s jacket on not long after they arrived. Rami says maybe it’s just that they saw Jerrel’s first, and then Michael’s. I say it’s a small room, and they’re working literally next to each other. Where would Michael have been hiding his Amazing Non-Color Muslin Coat?
I would comment on the challenge Mila is experiencing in making a cape for the first time, but clearly the producers want me to pay attention only to the drama between Michael and Jerrel. It almost feels like the catering is like the Feast in the Hunger Games – here’s some food, but you have to fight!
StraightColin says: Having set their trap, the producers wait in a blind. Confrontations like these can take hours. Their patience is soon rewarded when a wild Jerrel approaches a feeding Michael with caution.
And then there’s an awkward meal where Michael pretends he’s a saint and he’s never made accusations of cheating against anyone else. We’re literally halfway through the show at this point, and maybe 10 minutes hasn’t been devoted to The Great Coat Fiasco. Where’s Encyclopedia Brown when you need him?
Meanwhile, in the demilitarized zone, things are boring as all get out. Mila’s adding more black rectangles, Rami’s sewing something pretty and picking out earrings. All’s clear on the western front. We haven’t seen much of anything from anyone other than Jerrel and Michael. Pieces here and there, but that’s it. We’ve been so damned focus on The Fiasco that we haven’t seen anything at all. And now we’re off to the runway. This week’s guest judge is Cynthia Rowley. Who is not a hot athlete, so I don’t care.
Austin – She absolutely looks like something off the Golden Girls. I mean, the pants are current, but it just looks so dated. Maybe a little too high-waisted. And the floral print screams St. John’s Bay. Look it up. It’s a little Stepford. StraightColin thinks if we lost the coat, it would improve. I say if we lost the mom pleats, it would improve.
Kara – I much prefer her pants, as they look comfy. Breezy. I like the color of the top and the throw jacket thingie is cute, but it just might not be enough.
Kenley – It’s adorable, and I can name ten girls who would want it in three different colors. My concern is that it’s a little too simple. It looks like a single piece, and it is a single print; there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of creative variation. In fact, there are no real design elements here; it’s a shape and a pattern. Hrm. The construction looks great; it’s tailored very well and comes across super clean. I just don’t think that’s enough.
Mondo – If this girl is really going to a birthday party for a sixty year-old, she may well be the entertainment. She’ll be the only thing louder than the TV. It’s cute – the contrasting patterns is interesting and the styling is dead on. Her hair is adorable, and the look is complete. The shorts are a little iffy, but she looks like Peggy Olson got a little crazy and went on a trip to Cabo. This is not a negative thing.
Rami – I like bringing brighter colors into fall. I don’t think everyone has to look like the stepped out of an Eddie Bauer catalogue just because it’s past Labor Day. StraightColin like this update to blue for fall, from the usual navy. Agreed. The big win here is his classic use of draping with a really sharp, tailored pant. The whole look really works.
Mila – I’ve seen this color palette before. At Talbot’s. Around their front door. The pants are crisp, but there’s something about this cape that’s very… weird. It reminds StraightColin of Katamari Damacy and Animal Crossing. I’m not sure what the hell he’s on about, but it is an absolutely weird look. It’s tailored well (as far as we can see) but capes are generally made without sleeves. Or armholes for that matter. It’s like Andy Warhol’s take on Mary Tyler Moore’s wardrobe. StraightColin thinks she wishes every model was Twiggy.
Jerrel – I like the different pattern choices. The layering is nice, and this is a warm, chic look. But damn if it doesn’t look like it’s the bastard child of these two similar looks. It’s a little form-swallowing, but he’s actually thinking about winter. It looks warm, it’s layered nicely, and it’s still fashionable.
Michael – It’s less interesting visually. It’s sleeveless, which doesn’t really seem very wintery, and she’s wearing tights. I mean, maybe this is fine for a Texas winter. But even then a bitch needs pants. And how do you put a jacket on over it? Or is it a jacket already? It looks like a dress. She looks like Xenia Onatopp from Goldeneye.
Cynthia thinks Austin’s look is almost so dorky it’s cool. Which can be said of Austin’s current look. Isaac thinks that on this model, she’s boring. He wouldn’t want to go to lunch or to a garden (???) with her. Georgina agrees, and Angela thinks she’s churchy. That wouldn’t pass for churchy down here in the bible belt, but sure. Angela thinks Kara’s is very wearable and comfortable, but Cynthia doesn’t think it’s original. Isaac doesn’t feel it, but Georgina compliments the fabric and color choices and says she wouldn’t mind wearing it at all. Ultimately, Kara took the high score. I literally cheered. I scared my dog.
We start Summer with Kenley’s look, and Cynthia is positively pinched. I think she’s trying to smile. She says she loves it and that it’s chic and understyled. Isaac likes that it’s one piece. Georgina thinks the polka dots could have been lined up a little bit better. Angela wants to wear it. Cynthia is confused, but I think she lives in that world a bit. Isaac thinks the textiles send it junior, and Georgina thinks the shorts are less flattering than last week. They get an 80s vibe, and Mondo gets misty eyed. Oh, baby bird. Kenley has the high score.
With the Autumn looks, the judges love Rami’s wrap and how it looks unbelted. They’re totally lost on the green shirt (Joanna was wearing it and this was filmed in the fall. What the hell?), and it’s actually constructed really oddly underneath that wrap top. They love the crap out of Mila’s cape, but for the life of me I can’t understand why. Mila has the high score. Sad times at Ridgemont High.
On to Winter, where Georgina was clearly fed a line. A big, whopping line. I’m surprised we didn’t see the cue card. Or the puppet strings. We’ve come to the climax of The Great Coat Caper. Jerrel would do himself a service if he stopped clamoring to defend himself. Same goes for Michael, who claims that in the beginning (…there was void) he had no idea and was just plugging right along. Or wandering in the desert. Or creating the sky and the land and the sea.
StraightColin says: And I saw Jerrel’s coat. And it was good.
Georgina loves the Bohemian look, and how put together it is. Isaac thinks the coat is gorgeous, but has an issue with the buttons. Whatever, Isaac, you go to gardens for fun. Cynthia loves all of the little details. The first thing Isaac says he likes is the belt. Pretty sure Michael didn’t make that. The heels plus the leggings? Nasty. His word. Freak nasty. StraightColin’s words. But somehow Isaac likes the look. Cynthia thinks Michael’s look is older, Angela thinks Michael’s look is the mom of the two, Georgina thinks it’s polished. The score? Jerrel. TAKE THAT LADY GERTRUDE! And not only did Jerrel beat Michael, he won for the week! Awesome.
Sidenote – Doppelganger On the Runway is my new pop-punk-glam band. Think Panic! At the Disco, but more Fosse. Maybe we’ll add punctuation. Doppelganger? On the Runway.
Michael and Mondo are safe, which means it’s down to Austin and Rami. I have a sick feeling in my stomach that my husband is about to be voted off the island. And I’ll be damned. This is two weeks in a row my mind has been blown by the judging. Oh, honey boo boo. I said this early on, but it bothers me that I like so many of these designers and that they’re all so good. It was his first time Rami was on the bottom (/cough) and he’s tossed out. Poor darling. I swear if Austin gets another pass on some odd cupcake/toilet paper doll/tea cozy, I’m going to revolt.
What did you guys think? Should Rami really have been shown the door? Or should it have been Austin’s odd amalgamation that got the axe? Let me know in the comments!