Greeting Runway Rascals! Now that I have my internets and AppleTV up and running, I can report my thoughts and feels to you about the 10th season of our favorite runway extravaganza. Straigh!Colin will of course be making appearances once again as well to add his dash of charm and wit.
What we missed on the first episode: all the designers showed off a look in Time Square to the cheers and jeers of a bunch of random tourists who probably were milling about after losing out on lotteries to Book of Mormon and Wicked. The boring tank dress lost, and the super cute evening gown from the super cute gay boy one. Don’t worry, I’ll learn names soon enough.
We start the episode off with a room full of the fabulous boys all being fabulously tired. Lantie, who was in the bottom two last week, is a little stunned. Meanwhile, I’m thinking someone should call the police. someone seems to have stolen her sleeves and replaces them with fruit bags.
Straight!Colin says: Did we miss a challenge where they had to wear outfits created from items found at the wharf? I think there’s a small tuna caught in her sleeve.
Enter Heidi wearing a dress made from shirts she stole off of some hipsters passed out on the L Train. And is that a leopard print belt? Who is dressing her? Maybe this is fashion, or maybe this is her letting loose now that she’s a single woman. I feel like maybe she cuts down trees, she skips and jumps, and likes to press wild flowers. In heels. And I’m sorry, I’m sure he’s sweet, but Kooan looks like he didn’t get a call back for that LMFAO video and he just couldn’t get over it. But oh, hello again Christopher.
Oh my goodness, Dylan’s Candy Bar. Dylan is the daughter of the man who made our Olympians look like Frenchmen. I’m excited about a candy challenge. They did it before when the show was still on Bravo, and for some it was a crazy disaster. But het outfit is SUPER CUTE. I want it for man type folks.
Andrea is using the staff of the Candy Bar as a models… for the tank tops… on the unconventional challenge. Meanwhile Kooan is just DIGGING in that sour straw bucket. You better take the whole tub, boo, because that’s just nasty. And then Christopher is grabbing candy button pillows. Y’all, unless you’re grabbing the actual textiles for their stuffing or for liner, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to have seen this show before. You have to know that if you go for textiles, you will be dressed down. Nina don’t play, y’all. Nina. Don’t. Play.
Lantie is grabbing wrapping paper for a base to hold the candy on. THIS is a smart option. One designer finds boots that he wants his model to walk in and Tim is less than enthused. Christopher wants a chocolate boyfriend and I don’t know which thought I have first: “Is that racist?” or “OH GOOD HE’S SINGLE!”
Back at Parson’s, everyone is hard at work mistreating candy. Things are being braided, smashed, glued; anything but eaten. It’s a damn shame. The fat kid inside me is crying. Tim comes in to cheer everyone on while confirming that Christopher does indeed have immunity. I hope he learns what no one else ever seems to have learned: if you have immunity, that’s your chance to go BAT SHIT CRAZY. Go buck wild. Because you can. Meanwhile, Gunnar (who looks incredibly familiar) is apparently giving Christopher the stink eye. Gunnar feels that Christopher is threatened by his personality or his design. Maybe he feels threatened by you because you keep trying to look threatening to him. But really you’re coming off looking like Lucille Ball in a mood. Let the cat fights begin!
Straight!Colin says: Sonjia looks like Niki Minaj’s more put together sister. If there’s a familial connection, it may explain why she thinks gummy sharks were talking to her.
In the sewing room, Andrea is sewing together the sheets of her candy buttons. Again I say she’s relying too much on pieces that are relatively literal, rather than building a framework and creating a look on top of it. Apparently, having been born on Halloween means that her idea of a candy apron is the best thing ever. I don’t even know what to say to that.
Kooan looks like he stepped out of the pages of Fruits Magazine. His fro, his personal fashion, how he kind of looked longingly at that glue bottle. Something tells me he’s made a pleather cosplay outfit or two in his time. He’s goofy as hell and I haven’t really decided how I feel about that.