After the “Dan + Blair 4ever”-fest that was last week’s Gossip Girl recap, I thought I’d take a little time this week to compose myself before recapping “It Girl, Interrupted.” Not that it helped… (Dan + Blair 4ever, Dan + Blair 4ever, Dan + Blair 4ever).
First of all, Bass in a onesie? Really? Mind you, I kind of enjoy how ridiculous he’s becoming. Is the onesie the new scarf? Perhaps the costume designers thought he ought to have something that would mark the stage he’s at in terms of emotional maturity. Still, Bass delivered one of the finest lines of the episode in the opening minutes when he advised young Archibald, “Just don’t be surprised if you end up with an angry ex-girlfriend and a tattoo of a kangaroo.” Sound, amigo.
Meanwhile, Serena sees herself in something of a Bruce Almighty as she stomps around the Upper East Side wielding her mighty trident in the form of Gossip Girl 3.0. She’s more like the guy who gets a monkey up his butt. The “new girl on the scene” storyline is beyond overused at this point but at least Lola’s vaguely more interesting than your average Duff or Dickens. Hopefully she won’t become just another blah character eventually sent to Spain or down the Hudson or whatever.
Nate… blegh… again, why would you waste such a pretty face with such contrived storylines? I say this week after week but come on! Stop resorting to young child tactics in your business, bro. You’re a man now (sort of). That said, I suppose Lola had to get her Scheming Induction over and done with so hopefully that’s out of the way. Also I feel nothing in favour of the Liz Hurley-has-emotions storyline, it’s just so dull. I’m glad they at least pretended to acknowledge that the investor has no business taking over the Editor’s office, but I feel like she’ll be regularly crashing in.
Continuing the character-by-character analysis, Dorota — who has always been one of my favourite characters on the programme if only for how consistently her character is written — is getting even sparkier and it’s nice to see her relationship with Dan blossoming in the knowledge that they both have Madamoiselle Waldorf’s best interests in mind. Must add: the more tidbits from her life with Vanya, the better. Gimme all of them! Although this editor love love loves seeing Blair happy, there’s a lot to be said for her lines when she’s crabby and paranoid and more than a bit anxious, such as when she snapped at Dorota, ”sneak up on me like that again and I’m going to start making you wear a bell.” Speaking of Blair, for a moment it looked like there was going to be a motherchucking upset to the storyline but happily, that was not the case and Blair continued to prove herself a Changed Strong Woman Person. Apart from mourning the loss of her Princess Diaries-esque dream, that is, but luckily this lent to the cutest ending ever, featuring THOSE PICTURES leaked months and months and months ago. Dan’s just so good for her, guys. I don’t care. They’re the best. They like making each other happy. Blair even put cubic zirconia on her perfectly groomed head (is it just me or are her curls even better than normal since she started going out with Humphs?).
The only other aside before I melt into a puddle of Dan + Blair 4ever is my total utter annoyance at Lily’s weirdness in the last few episodes. Lily, you were so much cooler way back when, especially on those occasions when your young self looked just like Brittany Snow and you went to watch No Doubt and flirted with photographers, but now your sole function is making Rufus broody and frowny, which in itself serves only to make me REALLY REALLY IRRITATED. Man up. Be cute. Stop being a brat. Although you may continue to say things like, “we do not negotiate with terrorists, especially ones from Florida,” because those snappy one-liners always make me laugh like a drunk man.
Have a watch of the trailer and check out the promo pics* for tomorrow’s episode, “Salon of the Dead”, which airs at 8/7c on The CW:
*all of the promo pics are of Liz Hurley looking furtive. God help us.