Spoilers ahoy for the season finale of Gossip Girl. This recap will begin with some wise words from a fellow LeakyNews editor who texted me after she had watched this week’s instalment:
I hope they make it a dark thriller for the last season. And it ends with Serena getting murdered. And Gossip Girl. And how dare they use We Are Young. THEY’RE NOT EVEN YOUNG.
WELL, PRECISELY. In forty-five short minutes, the Gossip Girl writers threw all the beautiful things out of the windows with the tired old GG classic: the ultimatum. Coupled with Bass’ daddy issues (conveniently now a possibility again seeing as his dad CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD) and a repulsive sugarcoating of his abuse and threats (“I lost my temper”), well boy, the writers screwed us good.
The worst thing about this program (and there are many bad things) isn’t how it skips over miscarriages and resurrections as episode fodder but the way in which it formulates relationships and the way women crumble around men. It makes being devastated desirable, rather than “strong and safe.” Safety becomes a bad thing, strength becomes a given, much better to be shattered by someone who has done nothing but manipulate you. A Divergent quotation comes to mind: “even though he saved me, he treated me like I was strong.” But in the case of the UES, damsel or strong woman are the only two options and by golly, why would you sacrifice the opportunity to be devastated? Yeah, that’s a guy you should fight for.
The reason why the dialogue was so damn wonderful between Dan and Blair this season was because that was a healthy, interesting relationship that only broke down when the writers decided they needed to pull out the old stuff (cheating at events related to the Shepherd family, aforementioned ultimatums, rooftop spats, getting screwed over by your dad, Serena on drugs).
Still, I have to admit I did love how everyone cut down Serena. I’m honestly still surprised she hasn’t been punched in the face yet. Hopefully she’ll stay away for a bit until a new character takes pity rather than one of the old failsafes. This editor can’t help but worry that the Rufus/Lily annulment is just a device to make Serena and Dan’s eventual reunion even less creepy.
And is Gossip Girl a guy? Or is that someone’s henchman? Or did it not even look like a guy? And of course Georgina’s back. And it’s cool that Lola gave Ivy the money. And in what world would Dan cheat on Serena? And of course Lily is screwing her sister over. And and and and and and and *collapses*
Just your standard Gossip Girl season finale. But my gosh it made me angry.
What did you guys think? Sound off in comments!